“Why do strangers listen to me more than friends? Sometimes we present something of value, but we become surprised because most of our friends don’t really listen or take us seriously. And it’s actually people that we’ve barely met that show maximum interest in us. Peer levels.
So the ultimate question “why do strangers listen to me more than friends” comes into our heads, and most times, we can’t really give a solid reason.
Today, I’m here with only one ultimate and unique psychological reason why this is so. (Well, maybe because I’m a psychologist…lol)
You see, there are 3 levels of peer.
1) Above peer level.
Have you ever seen someone that really takes you as an expert with what you say or do? Like that person that really looks up to you in terms of quality words and advice.
This is because they’ve already put you above their peer level. They have held you up with so much esteem and pride.
They don’t see you at their level. They see you as someone with higher experiences and knowledge than them, even though you might be younger.
During one of my meetings on Facebook, I raised a suggestion that none of the company’s competitors have thought about. But I raised the suggestion, they listened to me and I received many messages and thank you SMS that same night. Now, they call me whenever they just need to “do things differently”
They’ve put me above their peer level. They’ve seen me as an expert, even though I was far younger than them.
People who put you above their peer level are mostly the people with that you’ve made a good first impression and were pleased with your attributes, the very first moment you met them.
And they can be considered as strangers because you have no connection with them before.
So, it’s safe to say that people who put you above their peer level, are strangers who you’ve made a good first impression with.
2) Same peer level.
This is the category of friends. That’s why it’s difficult to sell something to your friends or give a piece of advice to them. Some of your friends will view you on the same level as them, especially the friends that you spent your childhood with.
They might listen to you, but they won’t 100% take you seriously. They view you on the same level as them (even though you might be more experienced)
I experienced this countless times. I will expect some of my friends to patronize me well, but most times, it’s strangers that actually do. Other times, I will be at the front of a school meeting and it’s the people that I hardly know, that will flow with me and look at what I say as expertise. Then the question “why do strangers listen to me, more than friends” pops up in my head.
So, when you tell your friends something, and you notice that they don’t have the vibe and enthusiasm that you expected, then you should remember that they’ve put you on the same peer level as them. And they don’t really take you seriously actually.
But that doesn’t mean you will cut off your friendship with them. I mean, you are also a friend to someone and you’ve likely put at least one person on the same level as you right? And you wouldn’t really take what that person says seriously. Right? It’s just simple psychology and behavioral pattern.
3) Below peer level.
This is when some people view you as someone that is below their level. They can’t take to your advice, they can’t accept what you selling because they think that you don’t have what it takes to Impact them.
This happens when you become too overfamiliar/jovial with some people. The excess of things isn’t good.
When you laugh too much in group chats, you laugh even when you are being abused or bullied, and you don’t take matters seriously. When you suppose not to talk, you scream. Etc
These things can make you become too overfamiliar with people and they will believe that nothing “serious and good” can come out of you.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t laugh or relate with people. What I’m saying is that you should know when to be serious with some people and when to joke with them. You can be free with them, but they must understand that you are a person of discipline and you take to your words and actions with all seriousness.
Why Do Strangers Listen To Me, More Than Friends? (Conclusion)
Strangers will always want to listen to you or accept what you say because they haven’t figured out the peer level that you are. It’s after they have that first conversation with you, then they will put you in any of the 3 peer levels (above, same, below)
So now, do you understand why your friends might not take you or what you say seriously? It’s because they have put you on the same level (or below) with them. So they don’t look up to you, and thus, might not take you seriously.
That is why your business will likely boom with the help of strangers, not friends. Because strangers will view what you do as expertise and knowledge. While friends would likely not.
To some people, you are above their peer level. To others, you are on the same level as them. While too few, they put you below their peer level. That’s the reality.
This is a simple behavioral pattern. This is a good explanation of how people view you.
Have you done this to someone before?
Has someone done this to you before?