Waiting for the right time? – How about now? We wait, we hold out, and we maneuver. We pause and gather our strength. We wait for the right time.
I used to wake up, torn and determined by the daily grind and social duties between office jobs, friends, hobbies, and household. As a rule, I usually didn’t do what I really wanted to do, because over the years I had forgotten what it actually was that I wanted. In addition, I always thought that I had to fulfill the expectations of my fellow men.
Often I acted for someone and tried to please others. And that, although now seen from a distance, no one really expected anything from me. My job, of course, excepted.
The consequence was, that I lost my mindfulness. Mindfulness towards myself. And what was even worse about it all, I didn’t even realize it because I was so busy trying to fulfill a life for others.
A few years ago, the scales fell from my eyes in a conversation. And it was when I was talking about the right moment for the first time.
There are many reasons for not doing something. For example, waiting until you’ve been together longer, waiting until you’ve secured your future, waiting until you’ve reached the right age, waiting until summer, etc.
In our society, we always talk so beautifully about “safeguarding for old age”. That’s why we experience and endure many things in the now, for later. I’ll do that when…yes, when?
“Nothing’s going to come to you by sitting around and waiting for it.” – Zoe Kazan
If you always wait for the right time, you will probably wait forever
When is the right time and how do I recognize it? Is there a moment when everything is perfect? When all concerns have vanished into thin air? In my opinion, there are only a few things for which there is one right moment. Most decisions we make are not set in stone.
Yet we forever drift on a wave of concerns and fears, waiting for shallower waters and the supposed right moment.
A strong desire can point out the right time
If I disregard all “reasonable” considerations controlled by the mind, the right time has come when an idea rises in me, spreads as a very strong desire in me and gives me goosebumps because this thought feels so good and so right that I wonder why it comes to me only now.
When I have the feeling that I want nothing so much as exactly that which is literally overtaking me there in an intensity I have never known before.
If we then managed to trust our intuition, we would have no problem recognizing the right moment.
Don’t let yourself be forced into a supposedly right time
The right time for us is therefore not when we absolutely want to do something, but when we have to do something because otherwise, we endanger our physical and/or mental health.
In this context, we also speak of the “Titanic effect”. We have felt for a long time that a situation is not good for us, but we do not trust our feeling, but the mind, which gives us a whole series of reasons why this bad, but very familiar state is better than something new.
Problems make us miss the right moment
Problems do not stop. They never stop as long as we live, and as soon as we have solved one, another one comes up – at regular intervals, like waves, sometimes bigger, sometimes smaller.
These problems are part of every life, and there are also the phases in which they seem to appear in clusters, and we think that now everything is getting out of hand and feel completely overwhelmed.
The feeling for the right time then recedes far into the background. Problems are so annoying because they have to be solved before they grow because we – apparently – did not create them ourselves and because of them we have little self-determination at this moment.
We won’t be able to change anything about the coming and going of problems, nor can we rewrite the statistics that make it clear that certain phenomena occur in accumulation, but we make life and the search for the right moment even more difficult for ourselves by:
- making the problem bigger than it really is by constantly brooding over an issue,
- thinking about issues that might affect us one day, but are not a problem today,
- brooding over things that do not directly affect us or that we cannot influence or even solve ourselves.
Our brain sometimes leads us down a completely wrong path in our search for the right time.
Giving up waiting for the right time
This creates a feeling of helplessness that completely overrides precious energy for action. I have become accustomed to defusing the situation with a single sentence, a simple sentence, but one that does not make me feel overwhelmed by the problems of everyday life or spoil a beautiful day and perhaps the right time today.
This sentence has become a key to more serenity for me: “I allow myself to have no problem right now with the fact that…”
Why don’t you try it out and complete the sentence with the issues that are on your mind right now. You will notice that you feel more self-determined, some stressful things have not disappeared, but at least you decide not to have a problem with it RIGHT NOW, you do not postpone the solution until later, but the entire problem and that is the trick. So you no longer have to wait for the right time, you can start doing what you want to do today.
I am convinced that deep in your subconscious you know where your journey is going. If you listen within, you will realize that it takes a firm foundation to live the life you want and deserve.
You know that you need to move in order to move forward. Sometimes it just takes more courage and above all experience to become the person you want to be. Maybe the time is simply not ripe because you still lack experience or security. Maybe you just lack confidence and faith. But that is all right.
The point is that you should not keep waiting for the perfect time to do anything. Use the time of waiting to prepare yourself. Allow yourself the space you need to then consciously take the step forward – further along, your personal path.