Developing More Self-Confidence In One’s Own Strengths and Abilities. Self-confidence is a prerequisite for a personally and professionally fulfilling successful life. What to do if you have low self-confidence?
Low self-confidence is learned. If we don’t trust ourselves and are shy, it’s because we had experiences in childhood that made us feel there was something wrong with us and that we were not okay.
These experiences led to the fact that as adults we carry a voice inside us that never has a good or kind word to say to us and which I, therefore, call the inner critic. He constantly tries to attack our self-esteem, and he is very successful and skilled at it.
The inner critic throws words at us like a fool, idiot, failure, coward, and wimp, or calls us stupid, ugly, incompetent, and weak. Our inner critic does absolutely nothing to boost our self-confidence.
On the contrary, he always has only one thing in mind: to make us “small”. Our inner critic does his job so cleverly and skillfully that his criticism always seems to us to be justified and justified.
The critic in us was born in the early years of life when adults constantly pointed out our faults and weaknesses and punished us with words and dismissive behavior when we did not do as they asked.
Do the following accusations sound familiar:? “You’re no good,” “You’ll never amount to anything,” “You’re nothing but trouble,” “You’re stupid,” “You’re all thumbs,” “You’re lazy,” “You’re nothing but trouble”?
“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” - Marie Curie
Developing more Self-Confidence in one’s own strengths and abilities. Over time, we learned to see ourselves through our parents’ eyes and to speak to ourselves as our parents once did. Perhaps we were also bullied at school or teased because of our looks or our lack of athleticism, and so we’re unable to develop self-confidence.
If we want to gain more self-confidence and self-esteem, we need to stop believing the words of our critics. We need to banish the inner critic from our minds and put an encouraging and uplifting voice in its place.
We must learn to build ourselves up and have our backs. When we stop putting ourselves down and telling ourselves that we are not okay or inferior, we strengthen our self-esteem and self-confidence.
Developing More Self-Confidence In One’s own strengths and abilities through a positive self-image.
Basically, it’s about taking that scared little kid inside of us and making him realize that what he used to hear and experience is not true and telling him that he is in fact lovable, big, and strong.
Right now it is that your self-worth is an alien value. You did not decide how much you are worth, others did that for you.
If you had grown up in a different environment, one that made you feel lovable and valuable, you wouldn’t have an inner critic today, you would be more confident in yourself and thus have a positive self-image and more self-confidence.
You got your self-worth from your parents and educators, who may have often made you understand that you are not lovable. You have adopted their opinions without ever asking whether they are right or wrong, whether the others might not have been mistaken.
Three Important tips to developing More Self-Confidence In One’s own strengths and abilities.
- A very effective, but also very difficult exercise is to regularly say something nice to yourself.
What you should definitely keep in mind when doing the following exercise: Get yourself in a good mood beforehand by putting on some upbeat music, watching, or listening to something funny. Do not do this exercise when you are in a bad mood or when you are not feeling well! That would do absolutely no good.
The exercise goes like this: say to yourself, “Vera, (insert your first name) I like you. You are lovable.” Say this sentence with a smile (!) on your lips several times a day. In doing so, you will have a confusing experience. Everything inside you will resist saying such a thing. If you do bring yourself to do it, you will not be able to get rid of the feeling that you are telling yourself something that is not true.
Yes, you will feel that you are lying to yourself. This feeling is completely normal. It must come up because at the moment you are not yet convinced that you are lovable. Only when you have said these words to yourself a few hundred times do they sound more believable and the uneasy feeling that you are lying to yourself fades away.
If you want to boost your self-confidence, then you need to replace your negative opinion of yourself with a positive one. If you can say something nice and positive to yourself with a good feeling, then you have healthy self-esteem – and that is the basis of healthy self-confidence and self-esteem. Read more about this in Exercising Self-Esteem.
- Make a list of traits and behaviors you like about yourself, those you can live with, and those you dislike about yourself.
One by one, take on the traits that you dislike about yourself. For each characteristic, say to yourself – preferably out loud: “I am willing to accept myself as I am – even if I am … (e.g. jealous) am. I have flaws and strengths just like everyone else.” Take the Satisfaction Test and find out how you can increase your satisfaction with yourself and your life.
- In the evening, in bed, review your day and focus your attention on what you succeeded at, and what was positive for you.
There is something every day that you can praise yourself for. It doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary that no one before you has accomplished. Even what others have always succeeded in doing, and what is your first time, is a success for you. If you overcame your inner pig dog and did sports, that is a success.
Let yourself be surprised what burden falls from your shoulders and how your life turns into something positive when you strengthen your Self-Confidence and self-esteem.
“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life, because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew